


365 Fresh

by Smutlix



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Accidental Death, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst, Con Artist Chan, Con Artist Minho, Con Artist Seungmin, Con Artists, Dark Past, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hairdresser Han Jisung, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other, Pickpocket Jeongin, Pickpockets, References to Depression, Runaway Hyunjin, Suicidal Thoughts, Tattoo Artist Seo Changbin, Thief Woojin, Trans Character, Trans Hyunjin, Trans Male Character, suicidal lee felix
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24661045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smutlix/pseuds/Smutlix
Summary: Somewhat based on the concept of the mv of 365 FRESH, except it's mostly all kid friendly, no deaths, no drugs, no weird hanky-panky-- I'm probably gonna change this summary soon. Enjoy!Edit: With what Woojin might have done to those poor girls, I just want to say to the victim that whoever you are, I'm with you. The victim may be a liar, but I'd rather believe a liar over a potential harasser/rapist. To everyone who looked up to Woojin, you're probably really disgusted, enraged, or maybe even in shock, and I hope you can get over this, and soon help in supporting this oppressed victim get justice. It's easy for the truth to be hidden since idols are very reputed but I hope you get to the bottom of this and that justice is served. Also, please know that Stray Kids have nothing to do with any of this, as constantly said by the victim. Woojin had left SKZ 11 months ago to follow a solo career path, and did those horrendous things three months ago, long AFTER leaving Stray Kids. He also belittled the group and misused it's name and his previous power to harass women. While it may be very difficult for a few to chose “sides” right now, I hope you do what's right. Please take care and stay safe.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Yang Jeongin/?
Comments: 17
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

“Yo! That little punk just went around the building! Get him NOW!!” The boss, he supposed, of this stupid little group of ex-cons and petty offensers shouted from almost 250 metres behind him.

Woojin scoffed. These guys were real amateurs. They really thought they’d get the money back from him. No way. He would rather get beaten up badly than return the money he’d stolen from those losers.

They say to watch what you wish for: Here he was, three hours later in a stinky, dingy alleyway, all beaten up, several ribs bruised and some broken, a black eye, a ghastly cut over his right cheek, a severely bruised torso and a bloodied lip. Great. Exactly what he needed. Another scoff of annoyance puffed out through his split lips.

He winced from the pain in his face from all his scowling. He knows that sarcastic comments to himself won’t help, but talking to himself is the only thing keeping him sane at this point, so he might as well skip the denial part of this whole lifetime of loneliness. 

Looking over the dumpsters in the alley and past the huge piles of garbage, he sighed at the setting sun, as the humongous ball of fire disappeared from the horizon and seemed to burn out, leaving him in the cold, lonely embrace of the night. 

He didn’t always do this for a living, wasn’t always a thief, wasn’t always so messed up. He never meant for any of it to happen. But it did. And maybe it was better this way.

Maybe.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Jisung stared at the cute owl-themed clock on the wall of the parlour. 6:03 in the evening, it read. 

Finally, time to go home.

Don’t get him wrong, he really loved his job; albeit it only being a part-time thing, it was quite fun and the pay was good enough for a student who took a year off of his junior year in college where he was blessed with a scholarship. However, customers could be really annoying on some days.

Today was one of those days.

His day had been going pretty normal until a guy who came for a haircut began flirting with him in the most obnoxious. way. possible. He began with asking Jisung questions, simple ones- how old he was, if he worked here everyday, his favourite colour for dying his hair. All easy, not too personal questions, which the orange-haired male answered without much thought.

Until the older man asked him this: “Wanna have fun, doll?”

Jisung was startled, and disgusted. What the heck? “I’m sorry, no.”

The man sighed disappointedly. “Too bad.” Jisung hoped that the way-too-old-dude had gotten the hint. Boy, was he wrong.

The man kept trying to grab onto the younger’s waist, blatantly staring at his behind when the latter turned around to plug in the drier, and constantly making small comments about his body structure; how petit he was, how pretty he would look when--

“It’s all done. You paid already so you can leave now.” 

“What a shame.’ The man said, frowning with slight anger morphed into his features, finally, phew, FINALLY leaving the parlour.

“Ahhhh, it’s finally over! Creeps like him really piss me off,” The ginger head said, voice laced with annoyance. “Hopefully, he won’t be coming here again, or I’ll really make sure he pays for all this.”

Hopefully.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

“So, which girl do we need to rob, Minnie?” Chan asked Seungmin. 

Seungmin sighed. “For the fifth time, Chan, the brunette in the red dress. We need to steal her bracelet. And try to score her earrings too, if possible. They're all diamond and rose gold.”

Chan's face lit up. “You should've begun with that! I take dibs!”

Minho nudged Chan in the ribs. “Yah, wasn't it my turn?!”

Chan grinned at his friends. “Not if I woo her first.” 

Seungmin remained seated on one of the couches in the high-class bar, while the elder two made their way over to the aforementioned brunette, Chan beside her on the drink counter and Minho watching the two closely. 

“Hey there, princess.” Minho heard Chan say. Ahh, again with that cheesy dialogue? Aish, what do they see in this guy? They really need to change their charming techniques. 

Despite the line being extremely cliche, the older looking female was immediately charmed by the blonde Australian boy. “Hey!”

Chan smirked. This was way too easy. “What's a beauty like you doing in this cheap pub?”

The woman's eyes widened. Cheap?! 

Minho knew that look in her eyes. If Chan considered a pub so well maintained and high class as cheap, he must obviously be rich. Not even rich, the dude must be loaded. 

He knew that look in her eyes very, very well. He'd seen it in Chan's, Seungmin's too, and especially in his own. Greed. 

“Oh, it's not to my liking, but I hoped a sexy man like yourself would come whisk me away.” The lady said, voice sultry and seductive, a manicured hand on Chan's clothed bicep. 

Bingo. The fish had taken the bait. 

Now, it's time to eat. 

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Felix had never felt more hollow. The music that made him feel alive, the dances which would lift up his spirits in the matter of seconds and elevate him to a level of inner happiness just gave him numbness now. More than a passion, it had slowly morphed into a duty which he felt reluctant to do. But he had no choice. 

For he had already made one, years ago when he left his hometown in Australia to come to South Korea to become an idol. He had made the choice then, to become the beat and the flow of the music, and he thought then that if he achieved that, there would be nothing more he would want or desire for. 

In a twisted way, he was correct. For he no longer wanted anything, nor did he have any desires, not even to live. He wanted nothing. Nothing to do with dance, with music, with himself. 

The constant routine of dancing again, and again, and again, not for a sense of freedom but for perfection had turned his beautiful, lively soul to a hollow and numb body. 

There was no more, a purpose to live for. 

Just emptiness. 

He's sitting on the floor of his trainee apartment, a razor blade in his right hand, and hundreds of small and big, old and new cuts on the left, wondering to himself why he had done it; why he had left his home, his family - which was very happy without him by the way - his life, only to waste it away like this. He should've just died. He should just be dead. 

Shouldn't he? 

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Jeongin really couldn't be more grateful to these singers. Bustling events in the streets of Seoul provided him with a lot of stuff. Watches, phones, rings, necklaces, and of course, money. 

Jeongin is a pickpocketer. A small thief, not stealing anything too major, but enough to get him some food in his stomach, and maybe sometimes a few better clothes or blankets to put over his back, and to protect him from the cold on the bench in the park, his home. 

Doing this wasn't a choice. It was a habit he'd picked up from an elder boy in the orphanage. He's gotta say though, it really helped. 

Jeongin was a good lock-picker as well, but he didn't rob any houses. He had just learned that one as a way of surviving as his abusive adoptive parent killed his soul little by little every day of his life by tormenting him almost everyday after school, or even by making him skip school, leaving him in his room, locked all alone in the darkness for so long that he would almost forget what light looks like, wondering if this was how he would die. 

He was lucky enough that one day before it was time for the bastard to unlock his room, he picked open the lock after having mentally prepared himself for whatever he was to do now, elbowing the drunk man in the face, swinging the metal plate of the only food that he had eaten in days and bashing it repeatedly onto the back of his head, until the man was knocked out completely, and the young boy's hands were bleeding from the corners of the plate. 

He knew the man wasn't dead; he couldn't bring himself to kill the man despite how much he hated him, so he instead took some of his money, the only few belongings he had, and left his 'home' in Busan to go to the city of Seoul. 

Seoul was beautiful, a haven to him, and even in the darkness that followed him, he could finally feel at peace, for every morning, he woke up with the light shining on him, illuminating his world and turning the darkness of the night to a bright and warm dawn. 

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Hyunjin didn't consider himself fortunate. 

He was born in a wealthy household, had good grades, plenty of passions, lots of friends. But there was a catch. Hyunjin- or rather, Hyuna- was assigned female at birth. A girl. He was not one. He was never a girl.

Even in the earliest memory he remembered, he never felt right. That feeling of not belonging, not even in your own self, was really difficult. He couldn't recall a night he didn't cry when everyone around him would call him a pretty lady, a beautiful daughter, a girl, a girl, a girl, DIDN'T THEY GET IT?! 

He wasn't a girl, at all. He was a boy. He'd always been one. 

So, trusting, naive, and sweet Hyunjin told his parents. Being grounded, and being deprived of his dinner was all he got as a response. 

He tried again. And again. And again. 

No matter who he told, although the harshness of the response varied, the main message was  
clear. 

You're a girl, not a boy! 

It hurt. It hurt so bad. 

Why didn't they understand him?! Why did they treat him like this?! Why couldn't he be what he wanted to?! 

College began, and he snapped under his growing depression and hurt. Fuck his parents. Fuck the world. He was a boy. 

He dropped out from college, ran away, far, far away from his family, and gave himself a new identity. 

He wasn't Hyuna. 

He was Hyunjin. 

He was Hwang Hyunjin, and he could now be everything he wanted to be. Everything he already was. He could finally stop the hurt from everyone. He could finally be himself. 

Finally. 

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

The ding of the door bell alerted Changbin of the presence of a new client in his Tattoo Shop. Changbin usually had customers who appeared to be in the age ranges of 20 to 40, he didn't allow minors but anyone of legal age was welcome here. But the client he saw that day looked physically mature enough to be of the legal age but his eyes… 

They looked like that of a child after a night terror: frightened and scared of the nightmare, sad and weary as if these monsters in his dreams would come to haunt him in his sleep again, and naive, yet somehow experienced as if he'd seen all the pain in the world. 

His eyes intrigued Changbin. A lot. 

The boy spoke. “E-excuse me?” Changbin raised a brow. “Can I get a tattoo?”

Changbin smiled warmly, trying not to intimidate the boy and to ease him. “Of course. Can I get your name and age?”

The boy's frame tensed upon hearing the word name, as if it physically pained him. “I'm twenty-three and my name.. my name is Hwang Hyunjin.” Although he had been affected negatively when Changbin asked for his name, for some reason he spoke with confidence as he said his name. 

“Okay. So, Hyunjin-ssi, what kind of tattoo would you like?” 

The boy- Hyunjin- once again seemed unsure. “A tattoo saying HJ would be nice,” He paused, as if trying to make sure of what exactly it was that he wanted. “Yeah, I'd like that. On the back of my neck.”

Changbin smiled. What a cute kid. “Sounds great. 'Cmere, bud, let's get you that tattoo.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys are confused, Woojin's a thief, Jisung is a part-time hairdresser, Chan, Minho and Seungmin are con-artists, Felix is suicidal, Jeongin is pickpocketer, Hyunjin is a runaway, and Changbin is a tattoo artist. There's gonna be more soon! I hope you guys like this concept! <33


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, i can't believe i updated so early! This took me four hours to write and it's four a.m. rn and I'm really tired! sigh sigh sigh
> 
> I hope you guys like it! <3
> 
> TW // Graphic description of accidental injury and blood, and slightly described assault attempt. Just a head's up!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Woojin smiled as the younger boys and girls of the orphanage played tag on the field. Ah, he remembered the days when he would play with his younger brother like that, not long before Seyeon got sent to a different orphan faculty, separating the two brothers forever. 

He tried searching many times but all records only said that no boy named Kim Seyeon ever reached the faculty. He searched for his brother day and night, for years, actually, but was met with no results or leads. 

So he gave up. He gave up searching for a brother who had just disappeared off the globe. But he never forgot him. He cherished every single moment he had spent with the younger boy and swore to only steal enough to survive and to donate the rest of the money to his childhood home, Sunshine Orphanage. 

Maybe this way, he could feel at peace for losing his dear brother. 

But could he really? 

He soon realised that he would never be able to be at peace. His brother was gone. Seyeon was his only friend in this world and he didn't even have a clue if the boy was alive or long dead. 

He went through a repeating circle of disbelief, pain, and agony, and he couldn't stop, fighting with that every day of his existence. He fought everyday, and was tired of fighting for so long, from desperately holding onto that one shred of sanity and strength, but he would never let go. 

For he hadn't done Seyeon justice. He couldn't let Seyeon be in pain. He can't stop until he's achieved peace for himself and his brother. 

Even though he knew he could never possibly feel at peace again. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Jisung felt sick. He had woken up with a nasty headache after not sleeping until dawn the previous night, but he really shouldn't skip work. He only had three shifts a week, and he couldn't let the old lady that worked there to work even longer when she already had a family and grandchildren to look after. 

So he went to work. As usual, a casual day, with that one young boy and his mother who came there every third week of the month, and the sweet little girl who always came with her elder sister who was always too busy typing away on her phone screen, and then a seemingly young looking college student who had come to dye his hair green. 

To sum it up, his headache had lessened by a lot and he no longer felt like his head would split into two. 

That was until he entered; the pervert from last week. 

“Look at that, doll! What a coincidence that it's your shift 'gain!” The man exclaimed. 

Coincidence? Yeah, right, his big left toe. 

He really regretted telling this man his work schedule. But then again, how was he to know that this would happen? 

He gave the man a forced, tight-lipped smile. “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

The man looked surprised but also somewhat delighted. “Ahh, sir, is it? You don't have to call me that, sweetheart. Gaekong-ssi, works well too. I'd like a shave, thank you very much.”

Jisung had to stop the urge to cackle right there in this stupid man's face. 'Gaekong'?! Like the word Gaeddong*? _(*Gaeddong in Korean means 'dog shit.')_ What a loser! 

Barely stopping himself from bursting out into laughter, Jisung led the man to a seat and began with the shaving. 

At first, it was going alright. No comments or grabs like last time. What a relief. 

As he took a step closer to the man to shave better, the elder put a wandering hand on his thigh, which was leading alarmingly close to his rear. 

He had been relieved way too soon. He jinxed it. 

He stepped away from the man, glaring at him sternly, deciding not to cause trouble for himself, because work would end in less than an hour, and then he could bitch about this freak to himself all week. Relax, Jisung, don't snap, don't snap. 

But as soon as the man stood up from his seat, approaching the ginger head like a predator hunting his prey, Jisung's demeanor changed completely. He was scared. What was this man going to do to him? 

Suddenly the man was even closer, and unknowingly the younger had backed himself to the supplies table. How did he get here? How the heck was the man so close to him? 

Trying not panic even more, he grabbed the shaving blade, holding it towards the quickly approaching man with both hands. 

The man looked entertained. “Oh, doll. Put that down, sweetheart, I really don't want to make this unpleasant for you, ” He paused. “Unless you force me to!” 

And with that the senile man leaped towards the frightened boy, who barely ducked out before the man could catch ahold of him. 

Only to have the man bang his head on the huge mirror of the parlour, glass breaking and scattering, and him falling onto the floor, almost lifeless, until he hit the ground and pieces of glass impaled his body and face, blood splattering out disgustingly, onto Jisung's face, his hands, his clothes, his shoes, _everywhere._

Jisung dropped to the ground in shock. 

Oh my _fucking_ god. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Minho looked at all the jewelry and precious items they had stolen this month. Oh my. 

They were gonna be quite the millionaires this time. 

The trio took a little trip to a pawn shop in the Seoul Suburbs, and guess what? They're gonna be swimming in money, baby! 

This really was amazing. Not the thought of having so much financial support, but the feeling of freedom that came along with this money? Oh, it was absolutely delighting. 

All three of them woke up late the next day, especially Chan. They knew how much the elder struggled with insomnia, and despite it being an unspoken thing, the three of them knew almost everything about each other and this didn't only help with the routines and the scamming; they really made the best trio. The Scam Squad. 

It was eleven in the morning when the three of them had all finally woken up and decided to discuss some group plans before they could spend all day, talking endlessly about how they would spend their 'hard earned money.'

Seungmin spoke first, having finished his cereal quickly. “So hyungs.. I think we should move out.”

Chan almost choked on his pineapple juice. “What?! Really?! I swear we just settled here!”

Seungmin gave him a dry look. “That 'just' was two years ago. We could really use a change of location. Plus, people might start to get wary: you two are seen way too often at all the bars here, my dear 'charmers.' Trust me, we gotta move.”

Minho gave it a thought. Would he miss this place? 

Nah. Everything is replaceable, anyway. 

“That doesn't sound so bad, Minnie. What'dya say, Channie hyung?”

Chan grinned. “I'm okay with it if you two are. What do guys think about moving downtown?”

Minho was never one to deny his hyung. Chan hyung was a leader to him, and always would be. “That sounds crazy, but I'm down. Why though?”

Seungmin seemed to already have a list of reasons in mind along with Chan. “Well, we haven't been there before. The pubs are pretty good, and all security levels in the downtown regions are not that high. We could make pretty good money there.”

The three looked at each other in agreement.

“Well then, boys, start packing and bring out the jeep; looks we'll be going to downtown Seoul.”

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

It's three a.m. and the coldness of the night is numbing his fingers, but it's okay. This kind of numbness is okay. 

Physical numbness doesn't scare him, not in the least. Nor does mental numbness, but the thought of feeling this way forever does. He knows and has experienced way too much for the young age of twenty two, but he supposes that it was inevitable. 

He's at the crosswalk again. Waiting for a car to come and hit him hard enough to die a quick death. He tells himself that he will step forward every time he sees a car coming from afar. 

But he still doesn't do it, no matter how many cars cross his path, not leaving for morning dance practice until the sun finally rises up and shines the first ray of light of the day onto his freckled face. 

He really doesn't want to live. 

Living hurts, it makes him unhappy, it makes him wish that every night when he closed his eyes to go to sleep, he just wouldn't be able to wake up the next morning. 

Yes, living was tiring. But that didn't mean he wanted to die. 

No, he didn't want to die. A break from life would be nice, but death? No, he couldn't. It was too permanent, too numb, yet too scary at the same time. 

He didn't want to die. 

But he didn't want to live either. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

It's night time. 

Night time has always been too scary for Jeongin. There was no light other than that of the lamp post closeby and even the thought of not being able to see scared him. The night terrified him. 

He had heard a lot about the night from his friends at the orphanage and his classmates in school. They said that the best part about the night was the moon and the stars that would beautifully illuminate the world even in the hollow darkness.

Jeongin had seen the moon. After all, he slept on a park bench, for heaven's sake. He saw the moon almost every night. 

But although the moon shined on him at night, it was very quick to hide behind the clouds, turning it's back on him. 

The moon strangely reminded him of that one light bulb in his house that flickered every three seconds. 

It made him feel how changing life could be, how impermanent it was. One second, you could be happy, your world being bright and beautiful, and the next second, you could be at the bottom of an endless abyss of pain and sadness, spiralling down a tornado of thousands of emotions. 

He had heard of stars too, but had never seen them, for they were always too far out of reach, the clouds hiding them away from him, keeping him locked away from the light. 

But he remembered a moment in life when he had felt the warmth and the brightness of a star without actually seeing one. 

Back when he was a bit younger and hadn't shifted to downtown Seoul yet, he recalled being at a local grocery store buying some food for himself when he saw a wealthy looking boy, slightly older than him, buying three packages of cat food but only a carton of milk for his own consumption. 

Huh. What a strange boy. 

Watching the boy move to the billing counter, he quickly picked the cheapest brand of bibimbap as his meal for the day and rushed to the counter, standing behind the boy. 

As the elder boy took out his wallet to pay for the items, the younger quickly examined his wallet. There was a hundred won note in it, but he didn't want to inconvenience this person no matter who they were, so he just sneaked out a twenty won note from it, stuffing it in his pocket. 

The cat boy didn't even seem to spare a glance at him, even after he took his spare change and left. Today seemed to be really lucky for Jeongin. 

He bought the two won bibimbap, exiting the store, happy to finally get some food in his hungry stomach, when a hand harshly grabed his own and pushed him against a wall. 

It was the cat boy. 

Cold, cat-like eyes looked back into his own, intimidating him immediately. “How much did you steal?”

Jeongin gulped nervously before taking out the twenty won note from his pocket. “J-just this much. I'm sorry. P-please let m-me go.”

The boy's hold against him loosened and the younger male flinched. What was he going to do? 

He did something Jeongin had never expected, not from anyone, and certainly not from that boy: instead of taking the money, the boy opened his wallet and gave him a hundred won note from his wallet. “You should've stolen a big amount. How old are you, kid?”

Jeongin had never been asked a question with even slight concern and care, especially not from a stranger. He was confused and startled. “Eighteen and a half.”

The cat boy just looked at him sadly. Not with pity, but with a sense of understanding, as if showcasing empathy to a loved one. 

“Eat something more filling than that bibimbap, yeah? There you go.”

Without another word, the boy walked away. 

He never saw the boy again, but he was sure that if he had ever seen a star, that boy certainly was a bright, warm one. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Hyunjin was having one of his off days. Off, as in, sad days. Days in which he would suddenly become nostalgic, cranky, upset, hurt… and a lot of other emotions. 

He didn't know why he felt like this, but he did know that dedicating one day to himself, and his emotions every once in a while instantly lightened his mood. 

He let his mind wander to one of his days at a dance club, back when he wa called as Hyuna. 

He remembered meeting a boy. A boy who had kisses from angels all over his face, and eyes that held the entire galaxy. 

And that wasn't all; the way he danced, was simply beautiful. He didn't dance with the beat, or flow to it, or become one with it, no. 

He became the beat.

He became the flow. 

_He became the music._

His graceful moves and eloquent gestures always had Hyunjin in awe; the boy was truly talented. 

He remembered that the boy was called Felix. He was also known as Yongbok. True to the meanings of his name- luck, and success, Hyunjin was sure that this boy, with his aura as bright and warm as the sun, and his grace as gentle yet bouncy as that of the shy clouds, as serene as the calm of the night, and yet always shining through the darkness like the twinkling stars, would achieve everything he wanted. 

Hyunjin wondered if he himself would be able to achieve that. 

He might not be able to, but he would try. He was Hwang Hyunjin; he would always push through. Just like that boy. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Work was always over way too soon for Changbin. He loved his job. He could recognise every tattoo he had drawn because with every tattoo, he poured in a bit of his everything. 

He had decided to become a tattoo artist at a very young age. And he had never come to regret this decision in his past three and a half years of being a tattoo artist. 

Music was also one of his favourite hobbies. Simply listening, sometimes composing little by little, as a way of venting out, not that he ever kept much bottled up in the first place. 

So as he listens to one of to-go songs on the way home, he can't help but feel the presence of something huge about to happen soon. 

Something that could change his life forever. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys weren't too freaked out by the jisung scene. feel free to share your thoughts on this with me! ʕ ﹷ ᴥ ﹷʔ♡


	3. Chapter 3

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Felix sinks himself down into the hot water of the bathtub. 

Drowning isn't a way of dying he's too excited about, because it's slow, and having to die slowly while still being alive and being able to feel was too much, too terrifying for him. 

But he had to agree, he was always only seconds close to death when he submerged himself in the water and stayed there for long minutes, and he really liked that. 

It made him feel again: maybe just nervousness, or anticipation or adrenaline, but something was better than nothing. 

So he submerged himself into the waters very often, just to experience that feeling, because he really doesn't know how much longer he'll last with his numbness. 

People thought that the feeling of something being too close, like being in water or in a small room or closet was suffocating, scary even. 

Felix couldn't relate. 

For him, the feeling of having nothing around him, or not feeling anything, or simply feeling numb was the most suffocating feeling in the world. That's why he did so well in closed off places: lots of feelings and touches to acknowledge, lots of contact all around his body, simply making him forget about his destructive thoughts and everything else going on in life. 

He tried to remember the last he had been hugged, embraced closely, felt lots of emotions: was it around two winters ago? 

He had only ever had that feeling from Chris hyung,a fellow aussie who had been a trainee in JYP for seven years. The blonde’s hugs were always sweet and his embrace soothed all his worries. 

The elder Australian male was always very kind to the blue haired boy, always welcoming and loving, like a brotherly figure he never had. 

He remembered how bad he had spiralled into one of his episodes when the blonde suddenly went missing. He had just given a notice of leave to the company, not telling a soul and simply disappearing from all their lives. 

He wondered how he was now. 

Hopefully, the elder aussie was in a better place now, wherever he was. 

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Hyunjin opens the door to the tattoo shop and gives the shorter male a warm smile. 

“‘Sup, Changbin hyung?” he asks, not really expecting a proper answer than the raven head ranting about all the customers that had come in through the same doors today, which is exactly what he does.

“Y’know, just the usual. That buffy dude from a week ago came by again and even brought a few friends! They were all so nervous yet excited at the same time, and I swear to god, it was so, so amusing, Hyunjin. I barely held in my laughter the entire time,” He turns to look at the black-haired boy, dropping his marker on the drawing table. “It was nice. What about you? Any new customers other than the man who comes with his daughter or the two teenagers who keep on giving each other jasmines?”

Hyunjin grinned. He and Changbin had become so close after the former had come two months ago to the elder’s shop for a tattoo. The two began talking and hanging out often after they realised that they had lots of similar interests; they both loved music. To both, it was an outlet, but different forms of it: Hyunjin took pleasure in expressing the emotions of a song through his body language, his movements, his dance, whereas Changbin felt joy and the feeling of being free in creating melodies, music, and raps of his own. Hyunjin got a job at the flower store nearby, and the two hung out almost all the time, chatting in between Hyunjin’s breaks and going out for snacks when the duo were done with work. Easy to say, they hit off together pretty quick.

“Yeah. A little boy in blue overalls came asking for sunflowers for his mum, and he almost gave me 10,000 won ($10) but I gave him the change back before the lil' munchkin could run off.” Hyunjin almost cooed while remembering the precious little scene that had taken place almost an hour ago, but managed not to. 

Changbin chuckled. “Ah, kids these days. Too cute.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

The laughter and light music along with pretty lanterns and fairy lights in the carnival was just what Hyunjin needed. It had been a long time since he had been to one, considering he ran away from home and was alone for a long time. But now, coming here with a friend was really nice. The walk to this carnival was a bit extensive, almost all the way to upper Seoul, but it was worth it. He could definitely get used to this; this happiness, this warmth, this feeling of belonging.

He nudged the older boy’s shoulder. “Hey, Changbin hyung,” Hyunjin began excitedly. “Wanna go try the bumper cars game?” 

Changbin chuckles in an endeared manner and ruffles the black haired male’s hair. “Why don’t you wait in the line? It’s pretty long, so I could get us some ice cream, if you’d like. What do you say?”

Hyunjin’s eyes twinkled. “Gold Ribbon for me!” And just as the name of the flavour left his lips, the taller boy was already off, trying to save a spot in the line before it got even longer.

Four minutes later, Changbin was back, two ice cream cones, one with Gold ribbon and one with Vanilla in both his hands. 

Hyunjin shakes his head and looks at his hyung in disbelief. “Vanilla, really hyung?”

Changbin looks defensively at the taller, giving a lick to his ice cream. “What's wrong with vanilla?”

Hyunjin sighs.“Hyung, vanilla is practically the most bland ice cream flavor to exist.”

The raved-head gasps dramatically, offended that the younger could say such a thing. “It's not! It may seem bland or tasteless at first, but it's full of this sweetness that isn't too much or too less, but just right, just enough to taste like the heavens.”

“...If you say so.”

The two go back to talking about a new song that's just been released, occasionally licking their own desserts while still waiting in the line, when suddenly Hyunjin stops talking and looks behind Changbin, looking so scared and pale as if death itself had come knocking on his door. 

Changbin is worried, to say the least. But before he can ask the black haired boy, he is interrupted by a nasally voice. 

“Excuse me?”

It's a man, seemingly younger than him, and he has a look of curiosity and disbelief painted on his features. 

Hyunjin looks at the man, hesitantly tilting his head up to acknowledge him. “Yes?”

“Oh wow. Oh my god,” the man begins and Changbin can see a brief look of terror on Hyunjin's face. “You look so much like a classmate of mine!”

Hyunjin may look unaffected to others from his facial features, but Changbin can tell he is frightened and uncertain by the way his shoulders tense and as he freezes up, trying his best not to show his emotions by clenching his fist. 

The man continues speaking, either unaware or unconcerned by Hyunjin's visible discomfort. “I'm Park Naejong. Do you happen to know a girl named Hwang Hyuna? You look really similar to her.”

Hyunjin looks like he's going to cry and Changbin has absolutely had it with this oblivious dude. “Hey, kid, ” He begins, sizing up the younger. “Please leave.”

The man looks at Changbin like the latter just said that pigs can fly. “Are you delusional? I'm talking to this person here, not you. So,” He continues talking, turning to look at Hyunjin. “Where were--”

Changbin steps between the two, glaring pointedly at the man. “You said Park Naejong, huh? Well, Naejong-ssi, you're going to leave if you know what's best for you. We don't know what you're talking about and we'd appreciate it if you left us alone. Now.”

The man, Naejong, now scared and annoyed by the raven-head, just gives the two a look of disbelief before flipping them the bird and stomping away from them and towards a different ride. 

Hyunjin finally breaks. “O-oh my g-god.” He whimpers, breaking down into silent sobs that wrack through his body, and Changbin is quick to take the younger into his arms, dropping his cone of ice cream in a dustbin and guiding the younger to a bench. 

“H-hyung.” Hyunjin hiccups, still sobbing, looking up at the shorter from where the former was seated on the bench with teary, puffy eyes. “Hyung, h-he found me. I can't b-believe they f-found me.”

Changbin is confused and he would really like to pry and know more, but doesn't, letting the younger cry and take his time. 

Hyunjin continues. “Hyun.. H-Hyuna is m-my,” the younger pauses, both nervous and afraid, looking for the elder's support, or any kind of show of affection l, which the raven head gives him almost immediately, running his hand up and down the taller's back. 

It takes him two more minutes to calm down and muster the courage to continue, but he manages and begins speaking. “Hyuna is my deadname, hyung. I was assigned f-female at birth. Well, I o-obviously wasn't one.” 

Changbin doesn't pause, not even briefly and continues to rub his hands down Hyunjin's back. He knows that any kind of sudden reaction might have a bad effect on Hyunjin. Not that he had a bad reaction anyway; the older was surprised, yes, but did he feel any different about Hyunjin from knowing this? No. 

As Hyunjin finishes telling the older about his deepest, darkest times, about him not being accepted as a trans male, about the struggles he had gone through, about how he ran away from home, the raven-head's eyes were proud, and glistening with tears. 

“You've been so brave Hyunjin-ah.”

Hyunjin is confused by this response, by the lack of judgement and negativity in it, by the love and support filled in it. “W-What?”

“You've been so brave, doing all of this on your own, and you've come so far. It doesn't matter what body, or form you were born as, Jinnie. You are who you say you are, and if you say that you're a boy, then you're a boy.”

With these words being said, it took merely a second for Hyunjin to cling to the older boy as he cried his worries out, his sadness, his pain, throughout which Changbin just held onto him, letting the boy let it all out, just whispering words of comfort to him. 

They were simple words, could have been spoken by anyone in just a few seconds. But the difference Changbin made for the younger that day was by being the first one to ever say it to him. And as Changbin felt deep pain in his heart that no one had ever comforted the boy like so, he decided he would do his best to keep him happy and to protect his dongsaeng. 

“Thank you, hyung,” Hyunjin says suddenly, sniffing, yet smiling slightly. “What you said… thank you for saying that.”

Changbin just chuckles fondly. “You shouldn't have to say thanks for that, bud. However, you did drop your ice cream and I threw mine too, so you could make up for it by treating me~!”

The two laugh and the mood brightens up once again as they playfully laugh and joke about the other treating them to more dessert. 

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Jeongin was giddy. There was a carnival being held nearby his resident park, and he could finally get some money for food and clean water. God knows he could really use it. 

He enters the carnival, and blends easily with the crowd, the constant pushing of which made it easier to slip off their watches and wallets, only taking ones that looked not too expensive, just enough for him to keep surviving in the streets for a few weeks without having to steal. 

As he steps out of the more crowded area towards a food stall, he sees someone shaking from the corner of his eye. 

The person shaking is actually crying, or rather, sobbing as another person rubs a hand up and down their back. Wait did that person just--  
What--? 

Jeongin is surprised when the person who was crying less than two seconds ago, begins smiling, and says something, to which the other person responds, after which both parties begin laughing fondly. 

Wow. Jeongin supposes that the black haired boy must be really happy, because sometimes, he knows, that on extremely rare and happy occasions, on moments when they are truly touched and endeared, people cry with a smile on their face. 

He remembers doing the same when he was a kid. He can't recall how old he had turned, but it was his birthday. 

Back in the orphanage he used to live in, they didn't really care for the concept of gifts on occasions like birthdays, only giving the annual mini-box of cookies to each child on Christmas. 

So when two older boys who were his friends in the orphanage, Woojina hyung and Seyeonie hyung, gave him a little toy car, he couldn't hold back his tears. He was so touched.

The two were orphaned brothers and already had each other to look after, yet they gave him a gift on his birthday from their own scraped savings, and Jeongin remembers feeling the happiest he has ever felt in that very moment.

With one last look at the two boys in the carnival, he walks away, wondering if he would ever feel that happy again.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone noticed how i haven't written woojin's, jisung's, chan/minho/seungmin's pov in this ch.? i've done this because i'm gonna start making all characters meet soon! hopefully y'all are prepared for that hehe
> 
> PLUS,,, please show your love! comments and kudos are life~! 💓


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH I'M SO SORRY FOR UPDATING SO LATE! I'LL TRY TO UPDATE MORE OFTEN, I PROMISE!! 
> 
> welp anyways,,,, ENJOY READING HDJDKSJSJDJD

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Changbin took off his headphones, sighing as he turned off his laptop. He puts his head in between his head, bumping it on his study. While tattooing was definitely a passion of his, making music too was something that Changbin really enjoyed. But right now - he supposes it's his loneliness speaking - he's unmotivated, and as much as he hates to say it, he has an art block, and it sucks. 

He's groaning when the _ping!_ sound of a new notification on his phone alerts him. He slowly turns his head to the side, too lazy to move. 

Surprisingly, he shakes up and awakens when he sees who it's from. 

**Jinnie**  
hyung

**You**  
? 

**Jinnie**  
can i come over rn? 

**You**  
course, jin

By the time Hyunjin is there, Changbin has made a slight effort (read: he's too lazy) to clean up his messy study. Hyunjin has a suitcase trailing behind him and looks unsure of himself and Changbin is instantly concerned for the younger. 

“You okay, Jin?” The raven head asks. 

Hyunjin widens his eyes, seemingly startled out of his gazing trace. “Uh… I couldn't pay rent and… the landlord kicked me out, and I'm really scared about where to go plus I need to keep paying off my medical debt for the surgeries and I don't know what I'm going to do so uh, no, I don't feel okay.” The black haired boy says this in just seconds, almost panting by the end of it but Changbin is already by his side, holding the younger close. 

“You do know that you can stay here, right?”

Hyunjin looks confused. “Wait, what? Hyung, you live here?”

Changbin chuckles as Hyunjin asks on, having realized that he's not even aware of this. “What'dya think, kid? I don't just own this floor, by the way. It's just a two story building, all mine, and not too bad if I may say so myself. Wanna come up?”

The younger male nods, still slightly shocked at this sudden information, following Changbin as the older leads Hyunjin to a door in the first floor he hadn't noticed before. 

They follow a staircase leading into another floor and Changbin bends his knees, crouching near the door at the opening of the floor, pulling out a single key from under the welcome mat. 

Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “Really, hyung? Under the doormat? Seriously?”

Changbin holds his hands up in defense. “I forget, okay!” Grumbling, he unlocks the door, and soon his grumbling melts into a welcoming, sweet voice. “Welcome to my humble abode!”

Hyunjin scoffs playfully at the elder's antics. “While I appreciate the invitation; hyung! Why didn't you tell me you own such a big apartment?”

“Because you never asked...?” Changbin deadpans, but by the end of his statement, it's somehow morphed into a question. “Well anyways, ” He continues. “So, wanna become housemates, Jinnie?”

Albeit shying away at first, Hyunjin smiles and agrees, and soon the two are debating which out of the many rooms in the apartment will the black haired male be living in soon, playfully laughing and cursing at each other. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

The orphanage isn't running low on funding but a weird sense of duty makes Woojin go out to one of the pubs nearby to get more money nevertheless. 

Let's see who he should prey on today. That guy is the last aisle? Nah, he's holding two drinks, probably came here with someone. The drunk girl on the dance floor could make a good prey too, but he didn't want to cause a scene in the middle of the bar, and somehow situations involving alcohol and drunk chicks always became too messy. The dudes in the bar were way sober for a Friday, so he decided not to bother them either. He sees two girls talking in hushed voices and a set of car keys beside the shorter one. 

Bingo. 

Striding forwards, he makes his path across the sea of people towards the two girls, feigning drunkenness, putting a hand around and over both their shoulders. 

The girls, despite Woojin's attempt, look unimpressed. The taller one shrugs him off almost instantly. 

The shorter one too, slowly asks him to take off his hands, hesitating, as if she would actually like his company but shoos him away for the sake of her friend. 

He pretends to 'get the hint' and sluggishly steps away and towards the exit. 

As soon as he's out of the highly packed place, he drops the act, playfully dangling the newly acquired car keys on his fingers. He already got what he wanted. 

He presses the little button on the car keys, looking for the sound of a car unlocking in the surprisingly empty parking lot. 

A dark blue Volkswagen lights up and he quickly makes his way over, not wanting those girls to realise that their car keys had long gone missing. 

He opens the hood, wondering if he can find anything of use, maybe a water bottle, or maybe anything he can make use of, but what he finds instead, is a huge suitcase of cash. 

He laughs in disbelief and happiness, tilting his head back.

Hell yeah. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Soon enough, as per the trio had decided, they were done with packing all their belongings, and were on their jeep, on their way to downtown Seoul. 

Chan was driving the jeep, with Minho seated in the passenger seat, windows open and music blaring and Seungmin working on something on his laptop in the back seat. 

Chan grinned as a song he liked a lot began playing on the radio. “Ahh, ‘My House’ is such a bop! Minho, turn it up, quick!”

Minho chuckled at the older boy's antics but did as asked by him anyway, humming the song under his breath as Chan sang along to it loudly. 

_“It's alright, ouri jib-iro kha-ja~!”_

The older finished with an exaggerated touch and then sighed, dramatically dropping his shoulders. 

“What a legend.”

He almost feigned a look of tears before Seungmin spoke up. “Hyung you better focus on the road before I destroy that radio.”

Despite how scary he sounded, they all knew how much of a softie the redhead was, and Chan once again began with his silly drama queen act. 

“Oh my..! No Seungmin-ssi, not the radio!” He said, winking at Minho. 

“Seungmin-ssi, spare the radio! Please Seungmin-ssi!” Minho played along, trying his best not to break his facade by giggling.

“Call me _‘Seungmin-ssi’_ one more time and I'll destroy you two along with your little radio.” Nope, they take back what they had said, Seungmin was definitely scary when he wanted to be. (But the boy was just as adorable when he wanted to be, ahh, he was such a cutie!)

Both the elder boys paled but then chuckled happily nevertheless. They definitely were the best trio. 

The constantly-playing songs and light laughter had them in high spirits. 

Until they smashed their jeep right into a dark blue Volkswagen.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Woojin groaned. His ride to downtown Seoul had been going moderately okay, good, even, until some idiot who obviously couldn’t drive for shit had just smashed his jeep into Woojin, whose car hood had just opened by the heavy impact of the other vehicle and was steaming hot, grey smoke that seemed to thicken by the second. 

Woojin steps out of the driving seat, coughing at the smoke as he walks towards the front of the car to look at the damage done, and he can't help but feel annoyed at the person in the jeep. 

He turns around and watches as three guys, a blonde from the driving seat, a brunette from the passenger side of the jeep, and a redhead with glasses (clutching a laptop to his chest), all step out from the jeep, and notices that even though the three are shorter than him, and he's outnumbered and especially vulnerable since his valuable money is right in the trunk of his (stolen and now-broken) Volkswagen, sitting unprotected and for anyone to steal. 

The money from this loot is really something, way too precious to lose even if he's a little pissed at them. Plus, the blonde looks really guilty about it so Woojin decides to just take his leave from there with his suitcase of money, but before he can move away from the trio, he is interrupted by a soft voice. 

“I'm so sorry about that, I wasn't paying attention, I'm really sorry!” 

Woojin hesitantly turns to look at the three once again. It seems that it was the cute blonde who spoke, the other two look shocked by him but don't voice out this strange behaviour from their leader. 

“It's no big deal.” Woojin shrugs and responds, actually not giving a fuck at that point as he opens the trunk of the car and drags out the suitcase. 

His nonchalant words have the blonde stuttering, and his companion (the redhead) asks instead. “Were you headed somewhere?”

Woojin archs up his brow. “And why would I tell you even if I happen to be going somewhere? ”

It seems that the blonde has finally regained his senses, answering Woojin instead of Seungmin. “We were headed downtown, so if where you are going is in the way or a bit past downtown Seoul, we could drop you off, if you'd like..?” The boy trails off, and Woojin's eyes light up. 

Downtown, huh? 

Woojin turns around completely, facing his body towards them and he tugs along his suitcase. “I'm headed downtown too. So you'll drop me off there?”

The blonde nods rapidly, bubbling with visible anticipation and excitement, seeming much too pumped up for someone who looked so upset and sorry just a few seconds ago. “Yeah! We should compensate for damaging your car, after all.”

Chan can feel the stares of his two accomplices burning questioning holes on the back of his head, but he pays them no heat, focusing on the boy in front of him. 

“I'm Woojin.”

Chan grins. “Welcome aboard, Woojin.”

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Jisung looks at his hands.

_-blood, blood, blood-_

He looks up at the broken mirror, seeing a scared reflection of himself, covered in specks of blood all over. 

_-broken, broken, broken-_

Oh my god. Was the man dead? Does this mean he killed him? Jisung didn't do it, the man was the one who was assaulting him. 

_-killer, killer, killer-_

It wasn't his fault. 

_-you, you, you-_

But everyone would obviously suspect him; why would they hear a college dropout over a grown adult? They would blame him. No one would believe him. They'd kill him. He’die.

_-death, death, death-_

He didn't want to die! He had a whole life waiting for him! He was so happy living life the way he wanted and now they would kill him! They would take away the music, the scholarship, his life, his everything! 

He had to get away. He had to get away from here. He couldn't die. He must run. 

_-run, run, run-_

So he ran, and ran, and ran, dried blood settling on his clothes and caking over his cheeks, and him just running and running with no sense of direction, but instead just wanting to get far, far away. 

And he ran straight into the road in a red light. 

_BEEP!_ A jeep honked at him. 

He finally stopped. Where was he? Oh my god. Were the people in the car he just stopped hurt him? Were they gonna kill him? Would he die like this? 

He didn't think he would be seeing a (beautiful) person with a concerned and worried look gracing his (gorgeous) cat-like features coming out of the car, but that's what he saw. 

Suddenly, three more boys were barely a feet away from him, trying to ease the boy out of his approaching panic attack, trying to comfort him, at least for the moment, but Jisung's vision was too clouded with red to realize that they meant no harm, whimpering as he tried to shield himself from them. 

Jisung felt soft but steady pats on his back and arms cradling him towards someone's chest, and he felt like he could finally be able to breathe again; he hadn't even realized that he was hyperventilating. And on top of that, he hadn't even realized that someone was _hugging_ him. 

“Breathe for me, yeah?” A sweet voice whispered into his ear. “You're gonna be alright.” 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you guys are confused about anything, please let me know! and please show your support through comments and kudos, it gives me a lot more motivation and happiness than you could ever imagine hhhhhhh 😚💖


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